Mari bercerita...

Malam ni malam Rabu.. malas betul nak buat HW Dr Julien tu.. walhal next Wed. dah nak kena submit. Dari semalam sampai 3 pagi dok pulun siapkan HW Dr Salas bawaklah sampai ke hari ni just before his class at 3. Habis, balik redah salji sejuk2 ni mula la datang penyakit malas. Kaki pulak kebas pasai hari ni saja je pakai stokin nipis... ha, rasakan.. so pi la berendam dalam air panas.. dah ok dah.. Konon nak start lah lepas mandi dah segar-segar tu, hmm, takat copy paste soalan jer..he..he..he.. Malas betul la aku ni, orang putih yang nak raya Xmas, aku pulak yang lebih2 holiday moodnya..

So, apa lagi dok belek-belek FP Yan sedap pulak baca cerita dia pasal anak2.. yelah, kalau tak direkodkan nanti memang lupa. Macam Aqil tu, bila tengok balik gambar lama-lama dia, Ya Allah, how time flies and I even feel guilty as if I not gave him enough attention and whatnot. Yelah, kesian dia, umo 2 tahun setengah dah dapat adik.. so, I was so busy then with Aqif. Tapi, come to think of it, at least kat sini dia ada kawan.. especially bila travel tu, yelah budak, minat dia lain dari kita so ad ala kawan nak bergurau.. takde laa moyok jer muka tu.

Baca cerita orang pasal anak2 ni best betul.. apsal eh aku tak rekodkan semua tuh.. hmm, should I do that now? OK, let's begin with Aqil. Aqil dulu dari kecik memang minat main games ni. Umur dia 2 tahun dan pandai on computer, bukak and pasang CD then main sendiri semua games CD yang kami selalu beli kat Pandan Indah sebab murah kan.. he..he.. CD ciplak la apa lagi.. Bab ni memang dia pandailah sampai la sekarang. Bagi je games PS2 baru tu pandai jer dia godek2 main.. kalau bagi aku main memang tak reti ler.. tak kuasa nak fikir mana nak lompat, mana nak cari power segala tuh..

Rasanya masa umur dia setahun lebih, dia dah boleh cakap apa tah.. masa tu dalam kete.. but he was so cute then that balik rumah we kept asking him to repeat the sentences and end up laughing out loud. Start daripada tu, until a few years later, dia selalu cakap pelat sampai orang kata patut pegi bawak jumpa doktor sebab anak cakap pelat. I guess, our action then somehow had retarded his confidence and end up he just simply could not speaks properly. In fact, when we arrived here last winter, he still pelat. Eventually, he outgrew it and now sometimes when he said some words in Malay, he had this American accent pulak. I guess kalau aku yang cakap pelat omputih tu mau kena tampar dah...Favorite words dia skang ni "kewlll" tak pun "awesome". Dia pun dah pandai guna ayat dude kat kawan2 dia.. pandai-pandai je mengikut.. esok lusa ni lagipandai cakap omputih dari mak dia ni. Yelah, mama pun gagap juga bercakap orang putih ni..

Tadi masa tengah dok lepak2 kat depan tu, dia mengadu kat Baba dia tak tahu nak buat apa..yelah bila Mama dah dok kat couch tu means it's my time pulak nak tengok TV. Kalau tidak dia asik mengadap PS2 jelah. Dulu kat KL memang dia ada TV khas untuk main games so takde la kacau kami unless dia nak tengok katun sebab Astro kat TV atas jer.. Sini kena share. Yelah, walaupun TV LCD flat panel tu $800 jer kat sini tapi nak beli pun tak guna sebab tak boleh pakai kat Melesia. Kenapalah Melesia ni pakai voltage tinggi sangat haaa??? Sini barang elektrik murah2.. Off topic pulak.. so senang jer, suh jer dia buat homework. Aqil ni kalau datang mood rajin dia rajin dia buat homework. Macam tadi dia buat latihan huruf J, laju je dia sebut Jack-O-Lantern, Juggling, Jumping ropes.. hmm, pandai anak Mama.. dia sebut tadi dia nak pokok Krismas..alahai Aqil, memang tempted pun sebab pokok Krismas tu cantik.. tak salah sebenarnya kalau nak letak pokok Krismas dalam rumah.. cuma rumah aku ni mana muat nak letak pokok tu sayang....

Aqif pulak sekarang dah start minat main games. Sekarang hari-hari dah main game-boy. Sebelum ni dia lagi suka tengok You-Tube ABCs, kaler-kaler online dan nyanyi lagu ABCs. I'm happy he finally interested in electronic games. Those games need you to use your head to plan your next moves. His favorite words pulak "dia ittew..". Then rasanya bebudak besar tu semua sama, kuat mengacom (kuat repot) kalau abang dia buat ke, mama buat ke, baba buat ke.. kalau dia mengadu kat mama ke baba ke, kita tanya sapa buat dia cakap la sekian sekian, then bila kita tanya buat kat mana, dia siap tunjuk lagi kat mana..mengajuk tapi beriyer buat tu.. nak nak kalau abang dia yang buat.. abang dia tampar pipi ke.. dia pun siap tampar pipi dia nak tunjuk pada kita yang abang dia tampar pipi dia kuat..sakit. Tapi sejak dah besar sikit ni dah kurang dah ulang tayangan aksi ganas abang dia kat dia. Agak dia tahu kot.. ha..ha..ha..

Lepas tu kalau dia nak dapatkan something mula la berlakon.. kalau nak something dari Baba, dia kata tak nak sayang Mama..kalau nak something dari Mama pulak, tak nak sayang Baba... ayat dia..." Baba busuk...baba tak mandi.. " kalau Mama, sama jugaklah.. "Mama busuk, Mama tak mandi..". He..he.. ni semua ulangan ayat kita kat dia la bila kita suh dia mandi, dia tak nak.. kita pun cakap la tak nak sayang Aqif.. Aqif busuk... Aqif tak mandi..he..he..he... So very cute. Lagi satu yang Mama tak berapa gemar ni sebab bila tidur tangan dia tu suka merayap mengusap-ngusap pipi kita. Sambil tidur ni tangan tu dok gosok pipi.. Hish, mama cukup rimas la.. so far Baba jer yang tahan kalau Aqif gosok pipi. Kalau Mama mesti dah tepis-tepis dah... Mama tak boleh tido laaa... Ni ikut genetik mana ni suka gosok pipi orang tengah tido nih.. yang musykil tu, dia pun tidor jugak tapi tangan dok gerak-gerak boleh?

Sekarang, Mama dengan Baba paling suka dengar Aqif nyanyi lagu Old MacDonald. Sebab bila time eaeaooo tu dia punya tarik tersekat sekat .. kelakar dengar. Hari ni kan snowy, Baba dia cerita punyalah excited dia nak main snow sampai sanggup la mandi pagi.. ha..ha..ha.. kalau tidak puas nak suruh dia mandi. Tapi itulah, sekejap je main sebab dia kata sejuk. Abang Aqil jer suka main snow tak kira sejuk ke hapa.. Snow ni memang la best cuma tak tahan dia sejuk jer lah.. Kang kalau tak sejuk pulak kang dah tak snow pulak..

OKlah.. cukuplah tu.. Mata mama dah berat ni.. nak tido lah.. esokpagi ada kelas pukul 8. Adoiiiiiii, dah la sejuk, 8 pagi pulak tu.. hmm, ni kena angkut kopi sekali ni ..

Statement by Ku Lie

I sooooooooooo hate that darnnnnnn 5th element that soiled our land.. maybe we should consider giving the Pakatan Rakyat a try, eh? what to lose then.. we've been losing the grip and senses since the past 5 years..

AS

Statement by Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah
September 23, 2008

I write this as a Malaysian, as someone who, over forty seven years of political life, has had the privilege of playing some small part in the formation our country, the building of its institutions, and our achievement of a degree of economic sufficiency. I write out of deep concern about the present state of our country.

In the lives of nations as of individuals, there come moments of profound possibility, when the potential for self-transcendence and for self-destruction are simultaneously present.

As before some critical examination in our youth, we come to the daunting realization that we hold our future in our hands, when how we will fare many years hence, and whether we shall flourish or languish, will depend on how we conduct ourselves now, in this small window of time.

We are in a political impasse that threatens to metastasize into a Constitutional crisis. Political crises come and go, but the present crisis might well be the beginning of a cascade of failures leading to long-term instability and destruction.

1. Our impasse occurs at a time of heightened economic, political and security challenges. The global economy faces the prospect of a meltdown on a scale last seen in the Great Depression of the last century. As a trading nation, we are strongly exposed to its effects. Meanwhile, while we seem to have slept, the global economy is undergoing an epic transformation that we must either adapt to or are marginalized by.

2. This year’s ground-shfiting General Election result signaled a public sentiment that cannot be ignored. Malaysians want fundamental change, and they want it now, whether from within the ruling coalition or from outside it. The Malaysian demographic has changed dramatically over the last fifty years. We have seen the birth of a more sophisticated, demanding electorate that has rightly lost patience with incompetence and dishonesty.

3. The grievances of Sabah and Sarawak, which found only partial expression in the General Elections, remain unaddressed. This risks the very integrity of our Federation.

4. Misunderstandings over race and religion are ripe for political exploitation, with potentially disastrous consequences.

Post election promises notwithstanding however, the government now commands even less confidence than it did post March 8.

The public is in near despair over the prospects for change from within the ruling party. Rather than share the public’s sense of urgency, our present office-holders have redoubled efforts to frustrate renewal, cut off reform, and silence criticism. These efforts only underscore the weakness of the administration and its will to change.

We can no longer deny that in its present form, and under present leadership, the government, led by the party to which I have given my life, is now structurally and inherently incapable of providing the direction and confidence that the country needs, whether over the long or short term. The indications are there for all to see:

1. The government has been unable to respond to the economic crisis with even a basic plan of action. Business confidence has plummeted as capital flees the country. Our economic policy remains as uncoordinated and directionless as it has been in since the beginning of this administration.

2. The recommendations of two Royal Commissions of Inquiry have been ignored or watered down into insignificance.

3. In this context, Umno’s constitutional provision for the renewal of its leadership by triennial elections might have been expected to provide some hope of renewal. Instead of embracing this opportunity, however, the leadership of the party has retreated into the fantasy world of a “transition plan” which rides roughshod over the party’s constitution and the rights of its members. This risible attempt to treat public office and party trust as a private bequest between two individuals, one of whom wishes to hold office beyond his democratic mandate and the other to ascend without one, and the continuing effort to force feed the country with this notion, fools no one. Instead, and against background of rampant money politics, it kills the public’s hope of national renewal via Umno. Behind the babble about a “transition plan” the Prime Minister continues to be subverted by members of his own cabinet and subjected to thinly cloaked power plays to force his resignation.

This resort to a “transition plan” betrays a disturbing failure to grasp the meaning and purpose of public office. In the more mature society into which we aspire to grow, persons who demonstrate and moreover propagate such disregard for constitutional and democratic process would long ago have been disqualified from public life, let alone from national leadership. The news appears not to have sunk in that the public rejects leaders who shun the open light of democratic contest in favour of staged plays and backroom plots.

Given Umno’s core role in national politics, this is a dangerous state of affairs. Meanwhile the Opposition has made undeniable gains in the number of parliamentarians it commands. Beyond the hype and inflation, and regardless of whether Pakatan Rakyat now has “the numbers” to command a majority, what we cannot doubt is that support for the governing majority continues to erode, and that this erosion continues so long as there is no hope of real change in the type of leadership Umno provides. There is now a credible threat that the present government may at some time fall by a vote of no confidence, or by some otherwise constitutionally legitimate demonstration of parliamentary majority. After fifty-one years of rule by a single party, this is not a possibility that is well understood. It is justifiably viewed with trepidation. Neither sheer denial on the one hand, or inflated claims on the other, help the situation.

To all appearances, we are beginning to lose grip of the rule of law. The use of the Internal Security Act and of Sedition Laws to target particular individuals further erodes the credibility of the government. Our actions exacerbate rather than calm the fear that stokes civil and racial strife. In the present context of a leadership struggle within Umno and against a strong Opposition it is impossible to dispel the notion that these extreme measures are calculated to maintain certain individuals in power rather than to address verifiable threats to national security. Nothing does more to undermine the legitimacy of a government than plainly unjust acts. The ridiculous justifications given for some of these detentions has further undermined public confidence that the awesome powers of state are in safe hands.

We cannot afford to allow these disturbing trends to play out their destructive course while we suffer a de facto leadership vacuum, and while the rule of law is uncertain and the Constitution not upheld.

Against this background I appeal to all parties to come together in humility, beyond party politics, to hold an honest discussion, in the spirit of shared citizenship and with the gravest attitude of common responsibility towards a longsuffering rakyat, about what is happening to our country and how we might agree together on a peaceful way beyond our impasse. We need to come together to find unity and direction out of this dangerous situation. In doing so, we might turn our crisis into an opportunity and renew our unity and sense of direction as Malaysia.

Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah
31 Jalan Langgak Golf
55000 Kuala Lumpur

Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin

1 October 2008 - First time sambut raya kat perantauan. Dah ler jauh, siap berlambak pulak homework sepanjang bulan puasa ni.. So, preparation di kira almost zero sebab on 1 Syawal tu ada kelas plus additional make up class at 5:30-6:30pm so the whole day from 9 pagi sampai lah lewat petang dok spend masa kat CSU.. Tapi sebab raya kan so masak jugaklah nasi impit dengan kuah kacang dan pulut kuning dengan rendang daging. Pemanis mulut buat ice-cream cake jer.. almost like breakfast then that was all...

Laksa Asam - resepi Pulut Cari Forum

Ini adalah resepi asal dari poremer CARI, En Pulut. Terima kasih Pulut hang post resepi ni. Lepaih ni aku nak try hat ice cream cake pulak.. Gaya bahasa dan susun atur adalah sejibik sejiban dari Pulut.. aku dah try dan jadi walaupun aku ni gatai tangan jugak adjust2 asam keping tu ikut suka hati..dah la buat time posa so masa makan buka posa tu aku kena pancing balik asam keping tu buang sebab dia masam terlebih..pastu, aku punya daun kesum tu takla sampai 3 bungkuih pasai aku beli dia dah ikat siap-siap so aku boh seikat tu jelah..banyak jugak la tu...he..he..he..

ikan temenung - 5 ekoq (mid size) nak kuah pekat tambah byk ikan - tp byk ni dah gud enuff
asam jawa - tak byk sgt , just utk cuci ikan ngan boh sket masa rebuih
1 tin kecik sardin - tunggu sampai operasi 3

operasi 1
cuci ikan dgn ayaq asamjawa bg hilang hanyaq. bilas bg bersih, hang rebuih dgn asam jawa ada lebih kurang besaq cekodok (byk nnt masam sgt). utk ayaq, hang boh la byk sket, lebih kurang satu botoi ayaq coke 2 liter ka. boh la asam jawa dlm 2-3 keping.

operasi 2
bila ikan dah rebus aka macam minyak naik sket, hang asing ikan, tapis segala sampah, ayaq ikan rebus jadik stok. bila perisi, jgn buang tulang.

cabai kering - 10 biji = krg pedas, 1 guni = pedas kawkaw ~ rendam bg kembang
onion - 3 biji
halia - 5mm sahaja - bg hilang hanyaq ikan sardin yg akan digunakan sebentar lg
bwg putih - 3 ulas, ni ikut mood aku , kalau aku nak boh , aku boh, kalau tak aku tak boh
belacan - satu keping kecik 2cmx2cmx0.5cm. ikut suka individu ( aku bakaq dulu dlm oven)

operasi 3
blend semua diatas, dan masukkan kedalam stok ikan.
blend isi ikan yg telah diasing bersama 1 tin kecik sardin yg telah ditos sosnya, tuang dlm stok ikan,
blend tulang ikan, tapis yer masuk dlm stok ikan. kacau bg mesra

lengkuas - 2,3 keping potongan setebai 5mm
serai - 2 ketoi dititik
asam keping - 6 ketoi (slalu boh byk tp try adjust keasamannya)

operasi 4
masukkan mereka2 ini kedalam air rebusan. biaq sampai masak

gula - 2 sudu boleh substitute dgn pak aji
garam - sesuka hati
petis udang - 2 sudu optional

operasi 5
depa2 ni pulak, adjust ikut yr taste bud

daun kesum - 3 bungkuih

operasi 6
depa ni cheq boh byk pasai kat sini tarak bunga kantan. so kira kaver lah authentic laksa tu.

laksa - 1 bungkuih (rebuih), takpun org kat sini guna udon

sampah2
timun & bwg & nenas & daun salad & cabai & mint & teloq rebuih

mind boggling classes!

I just never expected it will be this hard. Imagine you have to do all the differential and integral and whatnot again. I thought I was done with it but I was definitely wrong. Once you enrolled yourself as a graduate student, you have to dig in all those creamiest calculus you "sooo loved" back then. Not only that, you also need to equip yourself with some sort of programming knowledge in which I never thought I need it. I should have take C++ on the summer because I thought I could do without it. I am sooo exhausted.. I know my course is called engineering and hence all the math and forces and free body diagram and shear stresses and bla..bla..bla...

Today, in my 622 class (Risk Analysis a.k.a eats stats, drink stats and breathe stats), I was totally blacked out of what the hell he was telling me on the white board or even the slide on the wall. I was like, what is it? Why it have to be this hard? OMG, I am soooo dead! I remember he was telling me about the linear programming that I should at least know and he said at least I should know how to use Maple... I was like, huh Maple? I never know there's a program called Maple.. I know how to use Maple syrup though...hu..hu...hu....

I guess if given a choice of hydraulics and hydrology, I would rather turn back time and just focus on structures. In hydraulics, you just get yourself blended with all the terms and those Greek symbols which I never used in so many years, now has becomes my everyday writing. I don't even remember some of it, what does it call.. goshhhhh... I am that screwed huh? Oh, I learned something new today. I guess, I probably had mentioned it once in my lifetime before this.. the symbol of inverse triangle called "The Laplacian". Whatttttt????

I know, it does ring a bell to Laplace Calculus but haaaaa? Well yeah... I guess no wonder women in engineering in States is so far less than the men. It was so darn hard. I guess my undergrads was not that details. I don't know... maybe because this school is so hard so that they can get some top ten place on ranking for the best top schools in engineering. As for me, my heart wants to go back home and just do my works and don't ever bother the technical parts, but my brain and my self conscience telling me not to because I'm going to be a better worker with some knowledge in hands. I'm not a smart ass...

So, anyone who thinks you're ready to spread your wing and fly and try to get yourself an advanced degree, well, think again!

Back to school!

To honor the request from my best friend's Farie, I am now created this entry because she wanted to know how's it like study abroad. To Farie..

To begin with, I had finished my first degree in December 1999 and started worked seriously in July 2000 with a consultant firm in PJ. I worked there for 2 years and I met great people there like Serena, Jennifer, Anita, Amudha, Shan and several others. It was great working in a small company, we had about 40 staff then, and it was a great experience too. Unfortunately, I'm getting tired of keep changing my designs due to the change in landuse and elevation as the clients keep changing their minds and you have to keep changing the levels and all. We don't use any robust software except for the old Windows spreadsheet and I was getting sick of it. Luckily, I was so much in love with my husband (boyfriend then) that you know, girls in love always kind of doped up with drugs and all that made not so nice job and rented apartments seems such a very small matters. Anyways, I end up married and 2 months later I was pregnant. I was about 3 months pregnant when I started to prepare several application letters to several firms thinking that I will send those after 9 months.

Then, the interview letter from JPA came. Well, I had received several interview before like for PTDs, for Vocational Officer but I want to be a civil engineer and I don't give a heck whether I'm a good one or not as long as the job title is engineer. Hey, I had to shove some sands making concrete block and dumped it in a septic pond only for nothing? I know I'm not doing great in my undergrads but that was because I don't know what I want then but I do know that I wanted to be an engineer for better or for worst. OK, back to the letter, it was an interview for an engineer post at JPS. I always fond of water. Water simply such a fascinate substance to kind of fall in love with. So, I went to Putrajaya for the interview with nothing to lose for. I declined every questions to post me at any other states than Klang Valley. I can't even answer anything about Ministers and all (that will certainly disqualified me for a PTD) and amazingly I got the job. Reason is I believe they need staff and I got some experience too. I did answer very well for any technical related questions they asked me so I can work but my political knowledge sucks! Surprisingly, a week after, I received another letter from JPA for JKR interview. I'm bad at structures and working with highways also not such a job I'm looking forward to so I'm stick to JPS. It was like I meant for it because a year before that I got myself fall into a main drain in Greenwood. I realized later that it was like kind of a sign or something. I believe that because to my knowledge, my friends who are now engineer in JPS, all of them had kind of incident with drains and I don't asked each and every single engineer in JPS of course, but it was kind of bonding I suppose. Yeah, I know it was just a coincidence! But, isn't it obvious and kind of freaky, don't you think?

My first office in DID was HTCKL. I liked the office very much but after sometimes I kind of tired doing the same collaboration and organizing events and whatnot. I wanted to be the presenter not the organizer anymore. So, after 3 and 1/2 years in HTC, I was posted to Hydrology and Water Resources Division at Ampang Branch. I was placed in Information Management Unit which deals with hydrological data and the operation of National Hydrological Network. It was very interesting to learn types of data and how do we collect and process the data but I wanted to know more than that and working there somehow had limited your time to learn more because we have so many other things like meetings..meetings...meetings.... and ISO..ISO..ISO... or people come to ask for the data. Hmm, that was pretty tiring and you end up doing nothing actually.. or maybe it was only me who end up doing nothing...LOL!

Anyway, a few months there and I already filled up the form to request a scholar for further my study. I even asked permission from Hubby if he's willing to sacrifice his job and come abroad to accompany me and the children of course. So, I submitted my application somewhere in June 2006 and I got the news from JPA on December the same year. I was ready to accept that I did not make it but I was so happy that eventually I did. I was offered a place at Delft, Netherlands. Well, that's where I would like to go at the first place before I changed it to USA. All in all, it took me a year later to come here. I was supposed to come here in Fall 2008 but I had postponed it to January 2009. Finally, on January 7th 2008, we flew from KLIA to LAX to DIA. So, here I am and here we are. I like CSU very much but somehow I wonder what will it be like studying in Europe. I have a wonderful advisor, Prof. Dr. Pierre Julien, a great man with a great heart and I have full support from my husband and the kids fine although they don't understand much. Well, at least they don't crying their heart out to go back to KL or so, so practically you can say it is understanding enough.

The study here is awesome! You can arrange your own schedule based on your interest and the subjects offered. CSU has plenty of choices and you can even widen your selection to other school like Natural Resources and they also have cool classes too. I like the system here that you keep doing your test and even carry some percentage for the total grade. It's not like Malaysian system where the finals normally will carry 70% to 80% of our total final grade. It's killing you and almost suicidal if the subject a hardcore. The resources is plentiful and even the teacher is knowledgeable that you feel at ease learning with them. Well, there are not so good teachers so being graduate student, I have more power to choose my subject and who I want to learn from. One thing excellent about CSU is, the subjects are plenty and so you don't have trouble choosing your classes based on your interest.